Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Poopernova

I share my hometown with Lucas Rossi. This makes me wonder, if circumstance were different could I be the lead singer of Supernova? I wonder what would have had to be different for this to come about. Whatever they would have been I thank god above and satan below and santa clause and Nietzche and Jimi Hendrix that my path was laid out differently. I also wonder if he every slept with any of my old girlfriends, laws of probability say not likely seeing as I had a total of two girlfriends in my 18 years in Ottawa. I wonder if he hung out in any of my favorite bars, (I doubt it, the bars I hung out in would have kicked his ass in). I wonder if he knew any of my friends. I wonder if any of the people I knew back home ever met him and had the good sense to lay a fierce and unforgettable beating on that human puddle of wasted ejaculant. Seriously, I don't get how the personification of obnoxious full sensory assault, (and I mean that in a way that he shouldn't take as a compliment) grow up in my home town and go undetected? I am saddened and appalled that the good people of Ottawa didn't take it upon themselves to carry his infant body into the Gatineau hills and expose him to the elements at birth as the ancient Spartans had the foresight and good sense to do to their children. I wonder if such a policy could be implemented retroactively?

If You Look Hard Enough You Can Spot 'em


I am often exposed to people that make my stomach turn. People with no moral compass, and not in a funny socially redeeming way either. Sometimes I get pretty down on humanity in general. Sometimes think that that villain in that James Bond movie, (I think it was Moonraker), may have had it right when he wanted to wipe out the whole corrupt lot of us and start over. And it's not just the evil bastards that get me down. More than anything it's the douchebags. People that open their mouths and all manner of irritating drivel spews out. But then other times I just sit back and think about people for a minute and realize that it's not really our fault. We get royally fucked up somewhere around gradeschool. Civilization can be a real drag on being human. Anyway, I don't really know where I'm going with this. I guess, sometimes you just gotta realize that we were all beautiful babies at one point. It's still there somewhere, under it all.