Happy New Year Destructo is Comming!

I myself don't care much for the holidays. For example the endless crap movies on T.V., the implied mandate to boost the economy by venturing into retailers to purchase material goods for people that they don't even want or need, and all the brain blistering clichés that go along with Christmas drive me fucking crazy. Plus I HATE turkey! However this year, Christmas didn't follow the script as it were. When I woke up Christmas morning and looked out of my parents living room window,(I had to sleep on the couch in my childhood home) my heart swelled with joy at what I saw. GREEN. Well, more like a shitty browny, gray green. I would be spared the relentless drone of that venerable child beater Bing Crosby and his godawful "White Christmas". This unseasonably warm weather has continued even into the new year, which has aroused mixed feelings in me. I live in Canada. It's Fucking cold in the winter. I hate the cold. However, I understand that cold is the way Canada is supposed to be. This warm weather, while being welcomed by my own delicate internal thermostat, can mean only one thing, GLOBAL WARMING. That's right, what all those scientist and movie stars have been telling us for years is finally starting to rear it's pleasant but apocalyptic head. We haven't done anything about this problem even with all the warning, and I think I know why. When people say global warming it doesn’t really scare me. It makes me think of hug, one enormous worldwide hug, what's scary about that. I say bring on the hugs. What those stupid scientist did wrong is give the most catastrophic environmental crisis the world has ever seen a lovable name. So I propose that we rename global warming something a little scarier. From now on I will refer to it as DESTRUCTO. Now that’s got punch. Imagine you turn on your T.V. and Peter Mansbridge or George Snufalupagus or whoever, tells you that DESTRUCTO has destroyed villages in the Asian pacific with a giant tidal wave, or that Destructo has killed all the polar bears. Man, anything that can take on all the polar bears and win has gotta be some tuff. Polar bears are bad mother fuckers. I think the name change could have a greater effect that all the ugly ass hybrid cars in the world combined. So there ya go. My New Years resolutions is to change the name of global warming to Destructo. Make it yours as well.